No Going Back Now
by Caskett101
Summary: So new FanFic, follow on from the 'Cops and Robbers' season four episode, CASKETT, CASKETT, CASKETT, FLUFF, FLUFF LOTS AND LOTS ;)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: So don't own Castle boo! :(**

**A/N: Hey guys! so I had this random idea for a new fanfic don't worry still writing my other fanfic 'That Kiss' just had to start this before I forgot... Anyway it would be amazing if you could follow me on Twitter aswell :) Taaliia**

**Castles Loft**

_Castle and Beckett finally made their way back to the loft after Beckett finished up her paperwork while Castle watched as per normal. Martha dramatically made her way to Kate pulling her in for a hug, "Oh, Kate!"_

_Kate face broke out in a big smile that made Castles heart pound god she was just amazing he loved her so much and after the issues that happened today he needed to tell her show her before it's too late._

_"Hi Martha, I hope it's okay that I join you guys"_

_Martha squeezed her tighter again pulling her towards the table her arm slinking around her shoulder. "Oh, darling, you can join us! Oh, you great, beautiful creature. Come in."_

_Kate had to catch her breath the love she received from this family was unbelievable and she cherished it all she just wishes she had the guts to tell Castle, because after today she couldn't bare to lose him. "Oh, wow. Martha. You—you really outdid yourself"_

_"I did. Facing death demands celebrating life. Tonight we feast!" Martha exclaimed._

_Castle took this moment to interrupt, "where's Alexis?"_

_"Oh, she's—well…" Martha raised her eyebrows with a sad glint in her eyes._

_Castle placed his hand on the small of Kates back feeling her back muscles tense up by his touch "yeah" she gave him a reassuring smile and went back to talking to Martha._

_A few moments later Alexis and Castle made their way back out to the living area_

_"Alexis, darling, help me with the duck l'orange, s'il vous plait." Alexis grinned at her dad as she walked to help Martha, as Beckett hands Castle a glass of wine._

_"Ah, thank you. And I didn't get a chance to properly thank you for saving my life."_

_"Oh, there's no need, Castle, we're partners. It's what we do."_

He nodded in agreement "yes." As he raised his glass with Beckett to toast feeling it was necessary to add in "some of us more than others."

_"Wait?" Beckett pulled her glass back, "what is that supposed to mean?" she raised her eyebrow questioning him._

"Only that this is the eighth time you've saved my life, and I've saved your life nine times."  
"Okay, first of all, I can't even believe that you're keeping score, and secondly, there's no way that you've saved my life more than I have yours. Nine? Please.

_"Oh, let's review shall we?" he cocked his eyebrow up as they both headed towards the dinner table. "The first time, I distracted that mad gunman with the champagne bottle. And yes. That was a save, even you admitted it. the second time, the, um…. Serial killer who put a bomb in your kitchen while you were taking a shower I had to brave the hellish flames to pull you out of your bathtub, won't be forgetting that anytime soon…."_

Castle continued to list of the rest of the times he had saved Kate and then they listed how many times she saved him and in the end he had been correct however they just wished they had nothing to be correct by. Throughout dinner they continued to talk about Martha's acting school, Alexis and her internship and Castle about how Gina keeps nagging for new chapters. Kate loved spending time with Castles family it was always a warm welcoming feeling that she hadn't felt in a long time. After dinner Castle took care of the cleaning with Martha, Kate tried to assist but Alexis told her that it wasn't worth it she would end up losing so the two girls made their way to the lounge to flick through the channels.

"Oooh I love this show! Have you watched it before" Alexis turned to Kate who nodded and smiled "actually I may be slightly addicted to One Tree Hill it's one of my guilty pleasure" the detective smiled.

"Really, okay we are definitely having a One Tree Hill marathon next time!" Alexis declared. Kate was touched even though it was just to watch TV she was thankful that she got along with her so well as was Castle as he was leaning over watching two of the most important people in his life. Martha realised what her son was looking at and couldn't hide her smile she leaned closer to him so she wasn't overheard.

"She's good you know?" she tilted her head towards the lounge.

He gave her a warm smile "I know"

"Yeah well when you both figure out what you two really are don't lose that one Richard she is definitely a keeper" she gave him a pat on the back and continued to clean.

"Trust me mother I will never leave her if I am ever lucky enough to be with her, but thank you mother"

Kate turned her head for a moment and noticed Castle staring at her; he gave her a warm smile their eyes locking for a moment having a conversation without words. She went back to talking to Alexis and watching TV after a moment of being lost in his perfect blue eyes,

"Uh Detective Beckett?"

"Please call me Kate, Alexis" she smiled.

"Kate, thank you for today saving them I… I just" Alexis could feel the tears trickling her eyes as she tried to continue.

Kate noticed the young girls eyes she placed her hand over Alexis and gave it a quick squeeze as she turned to face the young girl "hey, no need to thank me sweetie like I told your father it's what partners do"

Alexis nodded "but most partners surely wouldn't risk their lives to save their work colleagues" she pointed out

Kate let out a sigh what could she say it's not like she could say it's because _he is the love of my life and I cant lose him not when he doesn't know how I feel_. No she couldn't say that "Sweetie, your father means a lot to me a lot more than I think you will understand until you are much older so whenever he is in danger I will do everything in my power to save him. Because I would never wish of you to have to deal with the heartache of losing a parent".

She leaned over and gave Kate a hug "thank you, and just for the record my dad he _likes_ you that way too just give him a chance Kate he might seem silly but he means well" Kate was slightly taken aback by Alexis admission did she just give Kate permission to date her father? She shook her head and smiled as the young red head got up and sad her good nights. Soon followed by Martha who decided to call it a night after tidying up the kitchen.

"Wine, detective?" he walked over with two wine glasses and a bottle of red.

"Please" she thanked him as he handed the cup and made his way over to the other side of the couch.

"Oh no I see Alexis has made you watch this teen drama, bore" he sighed.

Making Kate let out a small laugh "actually I quite enjoy this show Castle we were actually planning on a One Tree Hill marathon soon" she responded like it was no big deal, truth be told it really wasn't but to Castle it meant so much because she wanted to spend time with his daughter like she was her own.

"Do you know just how extraordinary you truly are?" the sudden compliment caused Kates cheeks to heat up and make her heart race she smiled and dipped her head. He decided to turn a bit so he was facing her now both their wine glasses now placed on the table.

"I mean it Kate, I mean you had a rough day and you chose to come here and you get along with Alexis so well, planning get togethers" Kate let out a small huff "Castle you were held up today nearly died from a bomb and your worried about me. I mean this when I say what I'm about to say I loved coming here tonight and spending time with your daughter I mean considering her parents she is pretty well behaved" she joked causing Castle to laugh a little too.

"Thank you for today though honestly Kate" she went to protest but he continued "I know, I know, partners but seriously I was so scared for you and Alexis scared I would never see you or Alexis every again terrified me all the missed opportunities gone."

"Hey Rick" she placed her hand on the top of his leg taking in a deep breath because of the sudden feelings she started to have because of a single touch. "You're fine everything is okay now you and your mother are still here". They both stared into each other's eyes lost in one another's soul he looked down to her lips then back up to her eyes she felt him inch forward. Her body having a mind of its own also moving closer "Kate" it was a quite whisper not at all breaking their connection. "what we are about to do… I mean are you sure because I won't be able to go back…"

**A/N: Well cliffhanger will update in tomorrow :) Enjoy and please review**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Don't own Castle :( boo!**

**A/N: Sooo here's chapter two let me know what you think and thank you for the wonderful reviews, follows and favourites this story has already gotten. :) Enjoy**

She had never been so sure she didn't say anything just gazed down to his lips then back to his deep blue eyes and leaned in to close the gap. As soon as their lips touched it was electric nothing either of them had felt before it was slow at first until Kate moved closer placing her hand on his cheek letting out a soft moan as he pulled her onto his lap holding her by the waist. To keep her from falling off she whimpered into his mouth begging for him to open his mouth as soon as he did the tongues joined in a hot, slow kiss full of sorry, love, forgiveness, future.

Kate knew they had to break soon as she could barely breathe but after touching him connecting with him she didn't want to part from him she slowed the kiss down and started kissing the side of his neck up to his ear teasing the bottom of his ear lobe causing him to let out a moan. Realising that they may be a bit too loud considering the two red heads had only just made their way to their bedrooms. He lifted Kate up as she continued to kiss his ear "Rick… where… what" she panted hot heavy breathes in his ear.

"Shh it's okay... God Kate…. Tis amazing… just can't wake them up…. Office sofa" was all he could manage to get out. Kate just pulled on the bottom of his ear lobe soothing the sting with her tongue then capturing his lips again as he closed the door to his office he made their way blindly over to the sofa slowly placing her down on the sofa lips still connected she pulled him slowly down on top of her. Now it was his turn to tease her he started to nip at her neck taking his delicate time focusing on the crook of her neck and shoulder finding the spots that made her squirm and gasp as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Wow…. Rick oh god…. Who knew your mouth could do such wonderful things" he sucked on her neck making her squirm both of them falling onto the floor Kate now on top of him when Castle noticed the smart board looking back into the eyes of the woman he loved he knew he had to stop he needed to tell her.

She was looking into his eyes, he was looking back eyes full of love promise and here she was sitting on a lie that she knew he deserved to know.

"Kate wait…" he sat up slowly as Kate followed he pulled her in to his arms "as amazing as that was I can't do that not without being honest this, us means to much for it to end badly I need to be honest" he breathed in a shaky breath,

She pulled away enough to look in his eyes "Cas.. Rick what is it?" just the use of his first name made what he was about to do even harder because he risked losing her forever.

"Kate please what I'm about to show I know I shouldn't have done it but you need to understand I did this to protect you from all the evil so please hear me out because I refuse to lose you"

She scrunched her eyebrows up scared and confused at the same time as to what was exactly going on. "Rick?"

He breathed in closing his eyes then started "after you were shot a man came to me he said that Montgomery had some files, evidence on the ones who killed your mother he told me that as long as I got you to stop the investigation they wouldn't kill you"

Her face was full of betrayal hurt, how could he be so stupid! Risk his life for hers when he had a family "How…. What…" the tears that trickled her eyes now were falling down stopping on her cheek bones.

"Kate" he reached out to her but she wasn't having any of it she went to move to the office door just as she opened he pulled her back "Kate please" he was in hysterics now he wasn't losing her!

"No you kept this FROM ME my MOTHERS case" she tried to fight her way out of his grip but he held on tighter "Rick pleahaease" she was panicking barely able to breathe but he wasn't letting go no matter how hard she punch at his chest he wasn't losing her. He just held onto her his arms holding her in his embrace who was not letting her go, he knew it was wrong to do that but he had to keep her alive. Until she calmed down and wrapped her hands around his back letting the tears out saturating his shirt but he didn't care he moved over back to the sofa pulling her into his lap.

Her head still pressed against his chest her fists digging into the back of his shirt while he rubbed circles into her back soothing her, whispering words of love, promises. When she calmed down she looked up at him "Rick they could have killed you!" she exclaimed shaking her head "Alexis your mother what are you thinking what about your family!" she squeezed her eyes shut again leaning against his shoulder.

"Hey, hey Kate look at me" she finally looked him in the eyes "I would risk my life for you always if it meant saving you I would hand my life over in a second". She started shaking her head not wanting to believe what he was saying how he could choose her over his mother and daughter. "No Rick, you—you can't do that what about your family you can't die because of me do you have any idea what that would do to me, if I had to knock on that door and tell them that you died fighting my fight! Rick…"

He wiped the few tears that fell from her eyes, lightly running his thumb along her cheek bone "because if you die than a huge part of me will too Kate you might not want to hear this yet but I love you! I have loved you for nearly three years! And if they were to kill you they might as well kill me too because I would never be the same I can't imagine my life without you and okay sure that might be selfish of me to keep this from you but I'm not letting you go they are not going to kill you!"

Kates heart stopped he said again she didn't know what to say "Kate…I'm sorry I… I uh shouldn't have said that, it was out of line" she needed to tell him the truth too he was being honest it's time she was as well.

"Rick" it was a whisper he almost didn't hear her he moved her so she was facing him "Kate talk to me" he lightly kissed her on the forehead holding her against him.

"I… the shooting Rick I lied" she was panicking, "I… I remember everything" she started crying again.

"Everything…but" if he was being honest he had his doubts these last few weeks but now hearing it but he knew he needed to hear her out because he had also gone behind her back.

Their foreheads were still resting against one another "Rick" it was a hot whisper against his lips, her hands still placed in the nape of the back of his neck.

His hands still holding onto the back of her waist "Kate… why?" she breathed in he was mad but he didn't leave she didn't know what to say all she knew is she needed to just come clean.

"I was so scared, Rick… I—I just didn't know if what I heard was right I guess I just didn't understand how someone could love someone like me, no Rick please let me finish" she added avoiding Castle from cutting in. "The thing is Rick ever since my mother was killed I've shut my heart off from everyone so I could never risk getting hurt that bad again" she broke out in tears again "I'm just…. So scared I—I can't lose—lose you". She officially felt like she was crying a river now he pulled her in so her face was hidden in the crook of his neck while he rubbed her back.

"Hey—Hey Kate, listen to me I'm not going anywhere sure I'm upset and angry that you lied but a part of me understands but you need to know I'm staying Kate I will fight with everything I have because I love you and don't you ever! Think that you are unlovable you are extraordinary Katherine and I want no I need you to know that I am going to fight with everything. That I have to show you how much I love you I want this Kate, us."

**A/N: Let me know what you think, working on next chapter now :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Don't own Castle boo! :(**

**A/N: Hey guys! Here's a new one thanks for the reviews too (BTW I'm still working on my fanfic ****_That Kiss_****) just been getting really interested in this one ATM :)**

After a while Kate soon calmed down Castle still soothing her by running one hand through her hair and the other cradling her from her back. "I'm so sorry Rick… I'm so sorry".

"Hey—hey shh, honey it's okay"

"No it's not I—I shouldn't, I lied to you"

"Kate sweetie, hey look at me" he tilted her head so she was looking in his eyes "we were both stupid okay but I _still_ love you! So much it scares me too but I will always love you no matter what".

She bit down on the bottom of her lip "really? Even though I lied to you—you still love me… why?" she just didn't understand why? he loved her when she thought she was a mess.

"Always, Kate you are extraordinary you have been through so much more than what you should ever, ever go through that is why I love you because even though you have gone through so much more than you should have ever. Your heart is pure gold and I love you Kate you may have lied to me but I wasn't honest with you either but I refuse to give up on us not when I know we will be amazing together. We have something Kate something that will be amazing".

She pressed a kiss on the tip of his nose "you sweet, sweet man Richard Castle I want it all too with you _only_ you Rick and I am so scared, because I don't know what would happen if something happened to you. God Rick" she breathed out heavily as a few tears trickled down her face.

"Hey, hey shh Kate darling" he pulled her tighter against his chest running his fingers through her hair. "Listen to me I will do everything I can to make sure nothing happens to anyone we love Kate I'm not going anywhere but please don't give up on us because of possibilities that most likely won't happen, please"

"Okay"

"Wait… Okay" he gleamed "really?" god he looked so adorable

He made her let out a small giggle "really" she looked him in the eyes she could see them water she gave him a small smile lightly stroking his cheek. "But we can't have anymore secrets no more lies just honesty because Rick if I lose you—If I lose you I won't be able to survive that because… I—I love you to Richard Castle so—so much and that scares me".

He pulled her in for a long kiss as she ran her fingers roughly through his hair moaning into his mouth then attacking his tongue with hers he started trailing down her neck until he got to the one spot that made her squirm. "Oh gooood Rick… so good" she scraped her nails down his shirt pulling him back in for a heavy kiss as she bucked her hips into his groin.

"Kaa—ate as wonderful as you are making me—me feel right now… we can't not—not yet has to be perfect" he panted.

She let out a soft huff "I—I know I just don't understand why we waited so long"

"We weren't ready Kate you know that but now no secrets or lies we are ready. We're gonna be amazing you know that right?"

She leaned forward brushing her nose lightly against his. "Yeah we will be wont we?"

He smiled and nodded at her "Come on why don't we get some sleep"

"You take my bed and I will sleep here" Castle offered to Kate but she just shook her head "Cas—Rick no this is your house look why don't we just go to bed together we both have clothes and we can be responsible hey?"

He smiled and nodded "Hmm does that mean I can snuggle up with my detective"

"Of course" she blatantly stated like it was the obvious thing to do she just smiled and lightly shook her head getting up out of his lap as he pulled her towards his bedroom she took the view in with great detail "wow Rick very masculine" she said with a grin, "but Mr. Castle you remember I sleep with a gun."

"That's hot!"

She playfully slapped his bottom making him turn around raising his eyebrows "detective!" he jokingly squealed making her laugh.

"I don't know why but I have just always wanted to do that" she said shyly biting down on her bottom lip making her way to the end of the bed as he went and rummage through his wardrobe getting some clothes for them both he couldn't wipe the smile away they both might have lied but they were here and they both loved each other. She loved him!

"Hey" he appeared in a pair of grey plaid pyjama bottoms and a tight V navy blue shirt she couldn't believe how handsome and _toned_ he looked. She smiled at him as he came closer to her "hi, you've been hiding from me Mr." she simply stated raising an eyebrow at him.

He laughed at her response coming to a stop in front of her he leaned down so he was kneeling on the floor "so it's safe to say you like what you see?" he said with a cocky smile.

"Uh uh very" she smiled he wasn't expecting that but he wasn't complaining he liked the new Kate the one that wasn't afraid to show her love for him. She lightly thumbed the side of his cheek her thumb tingling from his small whiskers "very sexy" she simply said leaning down to kiss him softly on the lips letting out a small moan, pulling back teasingly.

He let out a grunt "tease" she just gently patted him on the cheek and picking up the pyjama bottoms and shirt and shimmied her way to the bathroom as he started to pull the blankets back he started getting comfortable on his side of the bed just waiting for her to come back. He still couldn't believe that he was with her.

She soon made her way back to his bed gently hoping in and pulling the blankets up she snuggled up to his side both of them facing each other he was looking deep into her eyes "what?" Kate asked shyly. He just kissed her on the tip of her nose "you're just so adorable have I ever told you and you look so _sexy_ in my clothes".

She raised her eyebrows intertwining her leg between his "hmm really I always imagined wearing one of your shirts" she then leaned into his ear and whispered "I mean _only _ your shirt" she quickly pulled down on the bottom of his earlobe causing him to groan.

"You're going to kill me Katherine Beckett" she just laughed "goodnight handsome man"

"Night beautiful woman, love you Kate"

"Love you too Rick" they leaned in for a quick kiss before Kate turned around and backed up into him as he wrapped his hand around her waist. Snuggling into her they fit like the last piece to a puzzle.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Don't own Castle boo! :(**

**A/N: GUYS! So sorry for the long update long weekend in Australia and I had to work plus had some friend stuff to do anyway, here is the next chapter I'm also working on the next chapter for 'That Kiss' should have it by tomorrow. Anyway thank you for the reviews let me know what you think of this chapter too :)**

She soon woke up to the sun beaming through the heavy draped curtains she went to move but was stopped by his heavy arm resting across her waist she bit down on the bottom of her lip smiling like the happiest person on Earth. She suddenly felt a cooling sensation on the back of her neck she let out a soft moan in pleasure by the sudden surprise.

"Morning beautiful" he whispered as he continued to press open wet kisses on her neck trailing up to the side of her face until he pulled her in for a bruising kiss.

"Hmm, what was that for?" she panted he leaned down and claimed her lips quickly again, "for giving us a shot" her heart stopped for a moment as she smiled up at him all she could, wondering why she had waited so long. "Plus it was ridiculously hard of me not to touch you last night" he whispered into her ear gently sucking on the bottom of her earlobe.

She knew exactly what he meant because she didn't want to wait, it killed her last night she understood why but she had always imagined the night she slept in his bed for the first time there would be very little sleeping. She gently ran her thumb along the bottom of his lip. She pulled him down so he was laying on top of her their mouths gently moving in sync together in a slow hot movement. He slipped his knee between her legs causing her to gasp in the sensation he had just created she ran her fingers through his hair pulling him down harder against her both moaning in the sensations their bodies were creating.

She started to pull her shirt up which meant their lips had to part for a moment he looked down to see her shirt being slowly pulled up he sucked in a breath as he felt his pants get tighter, he looked back into her eyes "Ka-ate if… if you take this off I—I don't think I'll be able to control myself, I love you and respect you so much but you're so unbelievably beautiful and I've waited for this… us, that I just I just can't lose you I don't want to mess what we have up… I'm trying to say is… are—are you sure?"

She quickly wiped away the tear that trickled down the side of her face she pulled him down again kissing his lips releasing all her feelings and thoughts into one kiss when their lips broke she kissed the underside of his jaw making her way to his ear "Rick trust me I want this… us—you! I'm ready so ready if you are" her whisper caused his body to break out into goose bumps.

He leaned down and claimed her lips again helping her out of her shirt well technically his shirt, he sat back up still straddling her hips he gazed down at her bare flat, toned stomach his breathing became heavy when his eyes, gazed upon her scars the two from her shooting he feathered his lips over the scar from the incision near her left hip leaving light kisses. Up her abdomen until he reached the scar near her heart the one that almost killed her took her away from him, from this. He lightly touched it with his thumb leaning down to kiss the tender spot.

As soon as his lips touched her scar she felt her heart stop for a moment no man beside her father and her doctor had viewed the two scars he was so gently, caring almost like she was made of porcelain she knew just how much this right here meant to him because it means so much to her as well.

His hands moved up her side his thumbs lightly skimming her breasts causing her back to arch up into his abdomen, she let out an almost whimpered sound "please, Rick stop teasing" she ran her fingers through his hair causing him to look up with a smirk his eyes dark full of want, desire, need and _love_ she still couldn't believe that they were here that he still _loved _her. She bit down on the bottom of her lip before quickly moving so she was now straddling his hips she couldn't help but roll her hips over his causing him to groan as she felt his pants become even tighter. She smiled down at him as he held onto her by the sides of her hip she leaned down and began to pull his t-shirt up over his stomach leaning further down lightly kissing everywhere over his abdomen pausing to run the tip of her tongue around his belly button. As his hands continued to run up her sides finding their way to the back of her black laced bra causing the backs of the hair on her neck to prickle, she finally pulled his top off raking her nails down his chest loving the view she was now having she lightly kissed his clavicle.

Their lips joined again in a hot heavy kiss she moaned into his mouth as she rolled her hips again he took this moment to get back on top, she couldn't help but let out a small yelp causing him to smile into the crook of her neck. "Rick" she practically panted he looked up into her eyes melting her heart even more just by a single look he hummed smiling down at her kissing her nose, cheek and that little spot in the corner of her lips.

"Pants off now!" she demanded causing him to laugh "uh huh yes ma'am!" she couldn't help but roll her eyes as she started to shimmy out of her pants she was thankful that she wasn't wearing jeans, and that he was wearing tracksuit pants. She was only in a small lingerie set which was a simple pair of black laced bra and panties. He was mesmerized he looked over her before looking directly into her eyes leaning down to run his hands through her hair, their lips just a centimetre apart he whispered over her lips "my god Kate, you're are _so_ beautiful so incredibly beautiful, stunning immaculate just god Kate".

She gently ran her right arm through his hair curling her thumb around his ear she could feel the tears prickle in her eyes as she breathed in. "Rick, kiss me, make _love_ to me because after last night hell after the last four years, I'm yours and I'm ready for this, for us and everything that comes between good and bad, so please Rick make love to me. Because I will _always_ love you!".

And just as she asked he made love to her he showed her just how much he loved her, how he knew how to love her, how to show his love for her and she's pretty sure that neither of them had ever slept with someone in the past and felt this way before this was it for her she knew he was it, she knew for a long time but was too scared, and now that she thinks back as she lays with her head on top of his chest she can't help but wonder why the hell she was so scared because right now, all those reasons she thought of where just stupid. She felt light, giddy happy and it was all thanks to the man asleep underneath her.

She lightly kissed his chest leaning up to his jaw and whispered "I love you Rick" before settling back next to his side as they dozed back off for a while.


End file.
